Maple & Main
Curt is Chicago native - but don't hold that against him. After stops in Madison and California, he moved to Waukesha in 2004 to open a downtown business.
The Solution to the Wisconsin Budget Crisis
Prepare yourself- not only are we going to solve the state’s budget problem right now, but we’re going to kill another bird with this stone as well…
This unbelievably great idea came to me while on a road trip back from Arizona over this past weekend. Part of the trip takes me through a mountain pass just outside of San Diego. At its peak, the pass is a little over 4000 feet above sea level.
The weather has been chilly in California lately, and when temperature near the coast hovers in the 60s, temperatures at higher elevations sink low enough to support snow. In this particular pass, the snow level dropped to 3000 feet and the area was dusted with about 3 inches of powder.
As I crested the summit Sunday afternoon, I noticed hundreds of cars pulled over on the shoulders of the road. As I drove further, I saw a line of traffic in the opposite lane that stretched as far as the eye could see.
People were out of their cars and standing everywhere- some had cameras, others had video recorders.
And then it dawned on me…
They were there to see the snow.
Snow balls were being thrown, kids were sledding, and snow men and snow angels were being created everywhere. It was a virtual winter festival, an icy jamboree, a snow celebration!
I couldn’t believe my eyes.
And as I continued down the pass, I measured the length of the traffic back up- twenty miles on my odometer before cars were moving again.
I was in awe. People were sitting in traffic to see snow. They were driving up the pass to play in it. They were fighting huge crowds to take photos and get it on video. I even saw four guys shoveling snow into their pickup truck bead- I suppose to drive it home and show friends.
Folks… I’m not making this up. That stuff you have been breaking your back to get rid of is a phenomenon out here.
And that’s when the idea hit me!
Ladies and gentlemen, here is Wisconsin’s budget solution…
I say you go outside, shovel all that snow on the ground into a few big boxes, and sell it on EBay to people in California. As a matter of fact, if you pack it into snowballs, you can sell them at a dollar a piece, and as a special deal- six snowballs for five dollars.
Your snow will disappear, and each dollar made can go toward the Wisconsin State Budget.
Just think- your backyard and sidewalks are covered in money! That huge snow drift in your driveway is a pile of gold! Those clumps of ice on the underside of your car are checks in the bank!
Brilliant!
Finally, people will be working together to solve the problems of the world (or at least Wisconsin). I can feel the warmth building in my heart!
And even though this may be the best idea ever, the whole “Otto for Governor” idea is just absurd.
When Scott Walker calls to thank me, I’ll simply tell him that a bronze statue of my likeness in Frame Park will suffice.
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