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Father's Day 2005 also fell on the 19th. Gone six years now, Dad didn't quite make it. He passed the Thursday before.
It happened rather sudden. I wasn't prepared or ready to say goodbye. If I'd known then...
I'm glad I was there in his last moments. Glad his daughter made it from NY in time.
I'm still learning from him. He taught me the value of work. I worked the day he died, the day before and the day after. It wasn't strange. Coworkers are friends and friends support one another in loss. Besides, I wasn't going to change the outcome by staying home. I was there when he left, and for this I feel blessed.
As a teenager I didn't want to be like him. Now I realize that I am sort of like him. He was friendly, caring, smart and loving. I was happy to have a dad like him and hope I've been half the dad he was.
I find myself thinking about him more now than when he was alive. This I regret. Life is full of little bummers, but I really wish I'd have done more to maintain our father / son relationship after I moved out. Why didn't I call or stop in more often. I regret that it took his death for me to think about him this much.
He knew way before I did when his time was near. I had a few seconds to say something profound and blew it. Didn't want to think about the end and definitely didn't want to acknowledge it was close. I had the chance and I choked.
One of the most important things learned from Dad's death is to not wait till the last minute to show or tell someone how much they're appreciated. You may not get a better chance.