Maple & Main

Something is Fishy Downtown.

Posted by Curt Otto on July 29, 2009 | 1 comment

This doesn’t look good at all…

I took this picture Tuesday morning. It seems there is a little problem with the sewer in my neighborhood and these guys have excavated a large portion of Main Street to get to the bottom of the issue.

Either that or they are finally building that tunnel to China we have all been waiting for.

And I’m a little on edge about it because…well…I feel I may have caused the problem.

You see, two weeks ago I lost one of my fish to an untimely death.

It was rather unexpected. He began to list to one side, the other fish began to pick on him, and before you know it, he had passed on to that big fish bowl in the sky.

So, like many a fish funeral before this, I sent him to the other side via the commode.

I even hummed taps as he vanished into the pipe, never to be seen again.

Ashes to ashes…

But then, only days later, a man from the city was down here investigating an odd sewer smell that was fouling up the gentle summer breeze.

After a few attempts to flush the system, it was determined that a bigger problem was at hand.

Two days after that, heavy equipment arrived. Digging began early Tuesday morning.

And I am afraid that "yellow fish" may be the cause.

Perhaps he jammed the pipe and has been backing up sewage for days! He was only two inches long, but maybe he bloated after his flush and has now caused an expensive sewer excavation!

Taxpayers, I am sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.

On another note, I have three fish left.

Next time, I will dispose of the dead directly into the Fox River- a burial at sea seems more appropriate anyhow.

And as for the giant hole in Main? I’ll keep and eye on it.

Maybe it’s a long lost treasure blocking the line, or an old rag, or an alligator.

Or "yellow fish"…

 Was the FBI really necessary?