Maple & Main

It Always Feels Like...

Posted by Curt Otto on Aug. 11, 2009 | 3 comments

It’s official.

Big Brother is keeping a watchful eye on downtown Waukesha.

As I left the house for a six thirty appointment yesterday, something new in my little downtown caught my eye.

Positioned on the corner of the building across the street from my home, I noticed a six foot steel pipe with a little dome on top glistening in the late evening sun.

It’s hard to miss and it’s certainly anything but historic, but functionality must be the key in its less than subtle appearance.

(And you guys thought the new water towers were ugly.)

So this morning, as I opened my window shades to welcome a new day, I was less than pleased to find that the CrimeCam3000 camera is visible from every window in my home as well as from my deck out back.

No more nude sunbathing for me… (Let’s be very clear- that was a joke).

And while I trust the cameras may quell some of the less than savory behavior that can happen in the evenings around here (it happens during the day sometimes as well), I can only imagine what next week’s police blotter may read like:

12:01AM-A thirty pound raccoon ransacked Curt Otto’s garbage, spilling it up and down West Main Street. 4:30AM- Curt Otto woke up and went to the bathroom. He returned to bed a short time later. 6:02AM Curt Otto is outside cleaning up garbage left from raccoons. Foul language is heard for two blocks in both directions. No citation issued. 6:30AM- Curt is out walking his dog. 6:45AM- Curt returns from walking dog and waters flowers. Is also seen pulling weeds and filling birdbaths. 7:15AM- Curt is in his kitchen making eggs and bacon. 7:20AM- Curt gets phone call. 7:30AM- Curt is seen opening all of the windows in his apartment. Seems while on phone, he forgot to tend to eggs and bacon. Smoke is rolling out of windows. Foul language is heard again. No citation is issued, however he is warned about language and about walking his dog in a city park. 8AM- Curt takes shower. 8:30 AM- Curt is watching morning news and eating cereal. 9:36 AM- Curt opens art school and teaches class. 12:10PM- Curt Otto walks to local business and has lunch. He returns at 2:45PM with a doggie bag. Unsure if he fed any of the leftovers to his dog. 2:46PM- Curt lets dog out for quick walk. Warned again about walking dog in city park. 3PM- Curt opens art school for afternoon class.

(Fascinating…isn’t it?)

6PM- Pigeon roosts on CrimeCam3000 camera and begins building nest. 6:14PM- Two rookie officers are dispatched to chase away said pigeon. 6:35PM- Rookie officers return to department to change uniforms. Unruly pigeon was tased and held for questioning.

8PM- Curt locks art school for the night and retreats upstairs. 8:15PM Curt is out on deck cooking a steak on the grill. It appears he has a pot of green beans on the stove as well. Hopefully things go better than they did at breakfast. 8:30PM- Curt eats steak and green beans while watching episode of Survivorman. Is also seen doing a load of laundry and feeding his fish. 9PM- Curt Otto makes a phone call. While on the phone, he washes his dishes. 9:30PM- Curt is seen relaxing on deck smoking a cigar and enjoying a cold beer. Zoom lens on CrimeWatch3000 Camera was able to detect cold beer was a Blue Moon. No lemon wedge. 10:30PM- 30 pound raccoon seen walking along sidewalk by Curt Otto’s building. 11PM- Curt retires for the evening. While he prepares to sleep, raccoon enters his garbage bin. 11:36PM- Curt receives phone call from friends stating they are at Taylor’s and he is pressured to join them for a beer. 11:45PM- Curt is seen leaving house heading toward Taylor’s. He crosses path with 30 pound raccoon. Foul language is heard for two blocks in both directions…no citation issued but both parties are detained for questioning.

And there you have it. Money well spent I would say.

Honestly, I hope CrimeCam3000 (I made that name up) will help ease the job of our local law enforcement and I anticipate that it will make the general population feel more secure while they are down here enjoying all the great things this area has to offer.

Downtown Waukesha is a safe environment- and CrimeCam3000 is going to make darn sure it stays that way…right outside my window…every window…all throughout my house…every day!

11:59PM- Curt Otto writes blog about CrimeCam3000. Pigeon returns to roost on camera lens…no citations issued but tasers are set on stun…

And you wonder why I'm freaking out.

 The view from my kitchen window.